My Favorite Quote

"Experiencing the journey of finding your own spirit reflected in the world around you is why you are here."

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Not Cedar City

So here is an update from my last post. I promise it will not be as long....
So I did not get the job in Cedar City, which really is ok. It would have been extremely nice to be closer to family, but I really was not excited about working there. I did some clinicals there about 5 years ago and I did not enjoy them and it was not my favorite place to be, so it really is ok. Plus obviously I am not meant to live there or be there or else I would have gotten the job.

As for right now I am just patiently waiting my next step in life wherever that may be or take me. I have an application in at the University of Utah Hospital here in Salt Lake, and I also have an application in at a Hosptial in Farminton, New Mexcico. That in istself is a long story so for shorts, it basically is a hosptial that is all about education and there employees getting an education. Which is what I want and not a lot of hospitals are willing to do so that is why I am looking at moving to New Mexico. It could be a very FUN adventure, and the plus to all of that is they would pay for me to go to school and guarantee me a job while I go to school and once I had graduated...

So what I have learned is that I needed to prepare a Resume. It had been almost 10 years since my last and it was time for a new and updated version. Also I am continuing to learn patience and trust and staying postive that ALL will work out.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Update

So I know it has been over 2 months since my last post and a lot has happened which some involved my computer, hence the ability to blog.
Christmas was fantastic, and so wonderful to be home with my family. I love them so much and I am so grateful to have them apart of my life. I don't know where I would be with out them.
Since about August of 2009 I new I would not be at my current job at St Marks Hospital for long. My 2 year mark was coming up in jan 2010 and I had a really strong desire to move on. At the time I was not clear whether that was with a travelling job or staying in salt lake and working at a different hospital, or moving. At the begining of dec, I started putting applications out with a travel company and really had my hopes up, but nothing ever happened. And then I thought maybe I get to move back home to St George. Which is funny to me because when I left St George 2 years ago I swore I would never move back. But I guess you never can say never, because you never know what lies ahead. My old boss at the Surgical Center really wants be to come home and work for him, really bad. But he can't offer me a full time job right now plus benefits, which is something I cant live without, so thats not an option at this moment. I talked with the OR Manager at Dixie and he has no positions open, and is unclear of when that will be so thats out. At the beginging of Dec I also noticed that the hospital in Cedar City was hiring, and for the fun of it I applied. In the mean time I let my boss know what my plans were in case something came up, but I also asked her to not tell anyone until I knew for sure what was going on. Well that lasted one week, because one week later I had a dozen people come up to me and say, "Marla, told us you were leaving." When I confronted her about that she denied it to my face until I called her on it and then apologized. It was a huge learning lesson for me, in keeping quiet and not getting my hopes up too soon.
So I have been playing this waiting game since Dec and its been getting old, and at times trying.
In the mean time my gallbladder has been acting up again and the attacks are worse than before. I scheduled some tests and they came back positive for cholecystitis aka bad gallbladder. So it basically was a matter of time of when I would and if I wanted to have surgery to remove it.
Jan 13th was a wed, I came home from work extremely exhausted and tired, and determined to go to bed early. When I arrived home a little voice told me that going to bed early would not be wise, so I headed the council. I ended up talking with my roomate and showing the house to a potential roomate, and then I started on some sewing. Well about 7:00 pm I had the urge to go to wal-mart to pick up some more fabric and sewing supplies, my roomate ended up leaving minutes after I did and as I left the house I was told to take my IPod as well. I went to wal-mart and ended up getting side tracked and stayed longer than planned. I arrived home 30 min later to find that the house had been broken into, we had be ransacked and robbed. I called my roomate because I was in shock and unclear as to what exactly was going on. She told me to get out of the house and call the cops and that she was on her way home now. So I did. 30 min later the cops showed up and went to investigate while we waited out in the freezing cold. After they had okd it safe we were allowed to enter and not touch anything. We then gave a report of what was missing and the times we left and the time I returned.
The thieves broke through my window (well the window does not lock so they simply opened it) and hit my room first. (I am so thankful I was not sleeping and listened to the voice, earlier I was plannin on coming home from work and going straight to bed.)They tore apart my dresser dumping the contents onto the floor and bed, also took apart my closet and looking for anything valuable. They took off with my brand new pillow cases I got from Christmas from a friend (jerks) and filled it up with my laptop, and jewerly. They then proceded to robb and tear apart the rest of the house.
The sad thing is, is the back yard neighbor saw them carrying our belongings out to their truck, but didn't think twice about it and thought someone was moving out. Which sucks, and he feels extremly bad about it now knowing what really took place.
That night, I was so shook up and emotionally unstable that I could not stand to even be in the house. So thanks to some wonderful friends, I spent the next 2 nights at there house.
Over the next 48 hours my gallbladder pain increased and got worse and worse so I scheduled surgery for monday the 18th of jan.
I had a really neat experience the friday before, which was 2 days after the burglery and 2 days before my surgery. Some friends of mine invited me over for dinner and an angel reading, the message I got during the reading is that the robbery was created for me to heal emotionally from the anger and pain I was still choosing to hold onto from my childhood. And all of that emotion and pain I was harboring in my gallbladder. You see emotionally the gallbladder holds onto pain, resentment, anger, hate, and judment. The beautiful thing was that the robbery allowed me to fully be accountable for all that I was still choosing to hold onto emotionally and the surgery 2 days later was allowing me the opportunity to physically release it. I remember waking up from the surgery feeling so much lighter emotionally and free.
After the surgery I had the opportunity to go to st george for 2 weeks and heal. It was great to be with my family and have my Mother and Ali taking really good care of me, and my brother Michael was an angel and gave me his bed for the 2 weeks. During that time I got word that my landlord wanted to sell the place and wanted everyone out of it by feb 1st. Which meant I had to figure out what I was going to do with all my stuff.
My parents flew to slc and we boxed and moved everything to a storage unit. And I had a decision to make. Find an apt within 24 hours or ask my aunt and uncle if I could stay with them till I found a place. I opted for the 2nd choice.
A week later I got a call from the hospital in Cedar City saying they wanted an interview so I drove down. It went good, but I am still waiting on there reply.
All in all it has been a very hectic and life learing last few months, and really testing my faith, trust and ability to stay focus and positive on what I deserve to have and create for me and my life.
Last night I was driving from Salt Lake to Centerville(temp home) and there was a lot of fog in the air. It was so bad I could barely make out the vehicle in front of me or 50 feet in front. I noticed that when other cars came near or there lights that it made it harder and harder to see where I was going, or the road. As I got about a block from home it cleared up and I could see just fine. I realized that the fog and the experience I had driving home that night was exactly what my life has been over the last few months. I literally feel like I have been living in fog and it has been so unclear. So unclear to the point that I had to trust by putting one foot in front of the other, not clear on where I was stepping and if it was the right path. And as others would tell me where to go or what they thought was best for me it would get harder and harder to see and I would get so lost. But what I realized was that when I choose to listen to my spirit and trust in God and stay positive and not listen to others that the path is there and is clear and gets more clear with every step I take. I know now that I get to be true to me and what I deserve to have in life and trust that I will be directed.