Baby Noah

On Sept 10, 2010, my beautiful sister Ashley gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and they named him Noah Beau Flowers. He was 8 pounds and 3 oz and 20 inches long. He is the apple of my eye and I am so so jealous that my family gets to be with him 24/7. I miss him so much already and its only been 2 days. He deinetley is my "Angel" and holds a special place in my heart. I love you Noah

Nursing School

Oh, I am so excited, so its official, I start nursing school Sept 14. This is something I have wanted for a really long time. I was going through some old journals a couple of months ago and found the journal I got around the time I graduated highschool. As I read it, I realized that my goal right out of highschool was to go to nursing school, I talked so much about it in my journal and how long it would take and what it would take to accomplish that.
Well its amazing to see that my life didn't turn out the way "I" planned it, funny how that is. It has been 9 years since highschool and since I wrote in that journal and not a whole lot of what I visioned at that time in my life has happened. But what I have experienced the last 9 years and the journey I have taken I would not trade for anything. I have learned so much about life and the lessons it has served up have been so perfect for me in each moment. Also If I had done nursing right away I would have never had the opportunity of being a Surgical Tech. Being a surgical tech is such an amazing job, and I am so grateful for that knowledge and the people I have worked with and the friendships I have made along the way.
You know life always turns out "Perfectly" even though at times I don't always know what to expect or what it has to offer. One thing I can always count on is my Heavenly Fathers love and support and I know he never sends me more than I can handle.
He allows trials in our lives, not because they are easy or desired, but because it teaches us to LOVE, and thats why we are here.

New Shoes

I am so so so excited. It has been 2 years now since I have had my road bike and I have never bought shoes for it. Shoes are so expensive too, anywhere from $100 to $300 dollars and so I have just ridden without them. Well this last week I found a pair on ebay for $10.00, I was stoked. They finally came today and I can't wait to get out there and ride. I have been ridding to work this last week and it has been awesome. 7 miles to work and 7 miles home, it will be a lot funner with shoes and clips. Yeah

My First Triathalon

Lissa and Me at the Finish after the race!

Saturday I had the opportunity to compete in my first Triathalon, oh what an experience. I have been wanting to train and do one for several years now, ever since I bought my road bike but the opportunity was never there. Then in Jan a group of people from work decided they were going to train for one in April, I thought I would train with them and compete in April, well that never worked for me.
My friend Lissa and I decided we would do the next one, and that ended up being June 12th. The Triathalon was a sprint triathalon, that meant it was a 300 yard swim, a 12 mile bike ride, and a 5k run (3.1 miles.)
Its hard to find olympic size pools that are 50 yards long, the pool we practiced swimming in was 15 or 20. The week before the race, we went to Golds Gym and swam in their pool, theirs was a little longer than one we had practiced in but nothing compared to the real thing. I guess what you don't know can be a good thing. :)
The morning of the race I was getting my bike all ready to go and checking the tire pressure, when the gold presta valve (the valve that it used to pump the air up in the tire) broke in half letting all my pressure out. I felt awful, I don't know a whole lot about bike tires, but knew this could not be good, and I would not be racing. There is not a bike store open at 5 am and I did not know anyone with a bike I could call and borrow. I called Lissa and told her what happened and she said, "Well if your not racing I'm not either." I told her, "No she has too and I would be there to cheer her on." She called back a few minutes later asking if I had a spare bike tube, I said, "Yes, I have two." She said that Cory, her husband, said that the presta valve is attached to the tube so I would just need to change my tube out and I could still ride. I was excited, I could still compete. YES!
I hurried and put all my stuff in my car, woke my little sister Kyla up, (she was staying with me for the weekend, and my little cheerleader for the race) and we left for the tri.
I changed my bike tire with the assistance of Cory, (Lissa's husband) and Lissa and I went and found a place for our bikes and met up with a co worker named Oscar that was competing with us. We got our racing chips and then went and lined up at the swimming pool. The way the swimming works is they have each individual enter the water every 10 seconds, and they have you line up in the time it will take you to swim. I knew I could swim it in about 8 1/2 minutes and if worse came to worse 10 minutes at the most, but to be safe and not have people kicking me and up in my face I decided to stand with the 12 minute swimmers. Lissa did the same. That was a good and bad idea, good because I didn't feel pressured or pushed during the swim, but it was a bad idea because It meant we were close to the last ones, and there was about 20 people behind us.
So I will not lie the swimming was a lot more challenging than I anticipated or practiced for. It definetly makes a difference swimming in a 50 yard pool as opposed to a 15 or 25 yard pool. But I finished and thats all that matters.

This is at the begining of the swim, I am waiting for them to tell me to start!


This is the last lap, Yeah! I was tired


Finished with the swim! Lissa was right behind me

I got out of the pool with Lissa close behind, and ran over to my bike and started putting my bike shorts and shirt over my wet swimming suit. (Fun, not:)I Put my shoes on and ran out of the bike area. Got on my bike and away I went.


Transition area, I am putting my biking gear on. Lissa is on my left.


Start of the bike ride, Lissa behind me. We are leaving the transistion area.

I had rode the bike route twice before and my best time was 50 minutes, I was not worried about it at all, and it ended up being pretty good. In all the effort that morning to get my front tire ready I forgot about my back tire, so I was a little worried and just trusting that it would be fine.
The first major hill I came to, I was not paying attention to my shifting and what gear I was in and my chain came off, that was a little frustrating. I hurried and put it back on and continued on. I passed Lissa as I was coming back, she had about a mile to go before the turn around and I could tell she was frustrated and tired. She had hurt her wrist very badly at work a few weeks ago and had a brace on, and she also was having bike troubles. I guess her chain had come off twice, and her first bike she had, broke on wednesday before the race, and Cory had gone and bought her a new bike on thursday, so she was still getting used to it. ( I don't reccomend that, but you do what you have to.)
I rode in, in under an hour and put my bike away and started the run. Now I had not really practiced this part. The longest I had gone was 2 miles if that and I have not ran in about 9 months. If worse came to worse I knew I could walk 3 miles so I was not too worried. Well I surprised myself and ran the whole way, it actually felt really really good.

Coming up on the last little bit

I ended up finishing in 1 hour and 59 minutes, which I was super stoked about. My goal was to finish in under 2 hours, so I did it with a minute to spare. :)


The Finish Line. Yes!

Kyla was waiting for me at the finish line like a good little sister would do. (she is the best.)


Kyla and I

This was a great experience and I am excited to train for more. There is a lot to learn from the first, the do's and dont's and I definetly know what I get to do differently the next time.
I am so grateful for my body and for the health I am in, I started getting all emotional right at the very end, with gratitude to my Heavenly Father for the beautiful, amazing body he has blessed me with. Thank YOU!

My Tooth

So it seems like my life never has a dull moment. Which is good because it would be very boring if it didn't but lately I am fed up and have had enough.

I have this tooth that is the size of a baby bicuspid and it should be an adult sized molar, that is located in the very back on the top of my left side. It never formed like it should and has been causing me a lot of hassle, grief and money the last little bit.

In Nov of last year it abcessed and I had to have a root canal which the recovery for that was the most painful experience I have had in a while. Well the tooth was so little that they don't make crowns small enough for that size so the dentist created a temp crown until I could have one specially made. The permanent one cost $1200 (thank goodness for insurance it paid for most of it) and the permanent one was placed the first of Feb.

The middle of April I was eating dried mangos, and after I was finished I ran my tongue along my teeth to get the excess mango off and realized my $1200 crown was gone. I panicked, and started to feel sick. What was I going to do, I didn't have more money to just go get a new one. So I decided I would have to retrieve it however that looked, assuming I had swallowed it. So I quickly went into the bathroom and made myself throw up. I continued that for quite some time until there was nothing left to throw up and there was no tooth. Ohh, this can't be happening, so then I did the unbearable, started checking my poops. I checked my poops for several days and still nothing. I was SICK :(

I went to the dentist and told him what had happened, he was wonderful. He told me not to worry about it and he would take care of it. I said I don't have money to pay for another crown, he said, its ok that he would pay for it. (Awesome)
I had my teeth cleaned and the hygenist notice that my gums around the tooth with the missing crown was swollen,(which is no surprise becuase I swear my left check still looks swollen to this day from the root canal in Nov.) She tooks some x rays and sure enough I had another infection which is only the 3rd this year. I have been on and off anitbiotics since Oct. So back on antibiotics and I reschedule and go back 2 weeks later.

2 weeks later, my gums are still swollen my jaw bone hurts most of the time and the Dr decides its too risky putting the permanent crown back on, which he had remade and attached to a post so he could just glue the post and slide it in and that way the crown would have something to grab to.
While I was there he made up a little temp crown to get me by till I saw the Endodontist,(which is this week.) Well that came off fri in the middle of surgery. I had to have the nurse pull my mask down and I spit it into a cup. What a nightmare.

My question is this? What am I suppose to learn from this?
Why, does this keep coming into my space? Meaning the infections and the never ending tooth issue. I just want to know what I get to learn from it, and learn and then move on.
So is it really just that simple to ask to move on and create the learning and be done?

The Move

So this last weekend I moved from Centerville Utah to the Avenues in Salt Lake. I love love love my new place and it is so convinent and close to everything. I can walk to to grocery store, its only a few minutes from work and I am so Happy! I am still figuring out my room and where I want to put everything, but its coming along and I only have 2 more boxes to unpack. Yeah!
I have 2 roomates named Jessica and Emily, they are both full time students at the U, and are a lot of fun and I feel very blessed to know them and have them in my life.

I am so grateful for my life and the paths I have had the opportunity to take and the lessons I have learned. Most of all the friendships I have had along the way, and the beautiful people in my life that have shown up for me in the most perfect way. Thank You and Namaste!

Life keeps Life"ing"..

So have you stopped to wonder that when life seems hard, or you get a curve ball thrown at you, or it just is one thing after another that it never stops. That life just keeps on life"ing." Well thats what I have been experiencing and it just keeps on going.

So I have been wanting to move back to St George since about thanksgiving and thought it would happen, well its not meant to be for now. For the last 4 months I have been living in Centerville with family patiently waiting for the answer on what I get to do with my life. Well I have learned a lot and realize that I have my own answers and I have known all along it was just getting in tune with that answer and trusting that it would all work out. I feel like I have been living in free fall for the last 3 or 4 months, not knowing where I was falling too and where I would land. It has been a little scary at times, and has taken a lot of faith, trust, and positive thinking to keep on going.

I can honestly say I finally feel comfort and secure with taking the next step, and feel like it is time, and I am ready to move forward. I have learned that not only does it take clarity on the decisions I want but it also takes committed action. I can have all the clarity in the world, but my decscions and dreams will never happen until I take committed action and create them.

Last week I found a place to live in the Avenues here in Salt Lake, and I am excited to start school again this August. St George will just have to wait, and there is always bigger and better right in front of me its just a matter of opening my eyes, and trusting to take that next step.

Not Cedar City

So here is an update from my last post. I promise it will not be as long....
So I did not get the job in Cedar City, which really is ok. It would have been extremely nice to be closer to family, but I really was not excited about working there. I did some clinicals there about 5 years ago and I did not enjoy them and it was not my favorite place to be, so it really is ok. Plus obviously I am not meant to live there or be there or else I would have gotten the job.

As for right now I am just patiently waiting my next step in life wherever that may be or take me. I have an application in at the University of Utah Hospital here in Salt Lake, and I also have an application in at a Hosptial in Farminton, New Mexcico. That in istself is a long story so for shorts, it basically is a hosptial that is all about education and there employees getting an education. Which is what I want and not a lot of hospitals are willing to do so that is why I am looking at moving to New Mexico. It could be a very FUN adventure, and the plus to all of that is they would pay for me to go to school and guarantee me a job while I go to school and once I had graduated...

So what I have learned is that I needed to prepare a Resume. It had been almost 10 years since my last and it was time for a new and updated version. Also I am continuing to learn patience and trust and staying postive that ALL will work out.

Update

So I know it has been over 2 months since my last post and a lot has happened which some involved my computer, hence the ability to blog.
Christmas was fantastic, and so wonderful to be home with my family. I love them so much and I am so grateful to have them apart of my life. I don't know where I would be with out them.
Since about August of 2009 I new I would not be at my current job at St Marks Hospital for long. My 2 year mark was coming up in jan 2010 and I had a really strong desire to move on. At the time I was not clear whether that was with a travelling job or staying in salt lake and working at a different hospital, or moving. At the begining of dec, I started putting applications out with a travel company and really had my hopes up, but nothing ever happened. And then I thought maybe I get to move back home to St George. Which is funny to me because when I left St George 2 years ago I swore I would never move back. But I guess you never can say never, because you never know what lies ahead. My old boss at the Surgical Center really wants be to come home and work for him, really bad. But he can't offer me a full time job right now plus benefits, which is something I cant live without, so thats not an option at this moment. I talked with the OR Manager at Dixie and he has no positions open, and is unclear of when that will be so thats out. At the beginging of Dec I also noticed that the hospital in Cedar City was hiring, and for the fun of it I applied. In the mean time I let my boss know what my plans were in case something came up, but I also asked her to not tell anyone until I knew for sure what was going on. Well that lasted one week, because one week later I had a dozen people come up to me and say, "Marla, told us you were leaving." When I confronted her about that she denied it to my face until I called her on it and then apologized. It was a huge learning lesson for me, in keeping quiet and not getting my hopes up too soon.
So I have been playing this waiting game since Dec and its been getting old, and at times trying.
In the mean time my gallbladder has been acting up again and the attacks are worse than before. I scheduled some tests and they came back positive for cholecystitis aka bad gallbladder. So it basically was a matter of time of when I would and if I wanted to have surgery to remove it.
Jan 13th was a wed, I came home from work extremely exhausted and tired, and determined to go to bed early. When I arrived home a little voice told me that going to bed early would not be wise, so I headed the council. I ended up talking with my roomate and showing the house to a potential roomate, and then I started on some sewing. Well about 7:00 pm I had the urge to go to wal-mart to pick up some more fabric and sewing supplies, my roomate ended up leaving minutes after I did and as I left the house I was told to take my IPod as well. I went to wal-mart and ended up getting side tracked and stayed longer than planned. I arrived home 30 min later to find that the house had been broken into, we had be ransacked and robbed. I called my roomate because I was in shock and unclear as to what exactly was going on. She told me to get out of the house and call the cops and that she was on her way home now. So I did. 30 min later the cops showed up and went to investigate while we waited out in the freezing cold. After they had okd it safe we were allowed to enter and not touch anything. We then gave a report of what was missing and the times we left and the time I returned.
The thieves broke through my window (well the window does not lock so they simply opened it) and hit my room first. (I am so thankful I was not sleeping and listened to the voice, earlier I was plannin on coming home from work and going straight to bed.)They tore apart my dresser dumping the contents onto the floor and bed, also took apart my closet and looking for anything valuable. They took off with my brand new pillow cases I got from Christmas from a friend (jerks) and filled it up with my laptop, and jewerly. They then proceded to robb and tear apart the rest of the house.
The sad thing is, is the back yard neighbor saw them carrying our belongings out to their truck, but didn't think twice about it and thought someone was moving out. Which sucks, and he feels extremly bad about it now knowing what really took place.
That night, I was so shook up and emotionally unstable that I could not stand to even be in the house. So thanks to some wonderful friends, I spent the next 2 nights at there house.
Over the next 48 hours my gallbladder pain increased and got worse and worse so I scheduled surgery for monday the 18th of jan.
I had a really neat experience the friday before, which was 2 days after the burglery and 2 days before my surgery. Some friends of mine invited me over for dinner and an angel reading, the message I got during the reading is that the robbery was created for me to heal emotionally from the anger and pain I was still choosing to hold onto from my childhood. And all of that emotion and pain I was harboring in my gallbladder. You see emotionally the gallbladder holds onto pain, resentment, anger, hate, and judment. The beautiful thing was that the robbery allowed me to fully be accountable for all that I was still choosing to hold onto emotionally and the surgery 2 days later was allowing me the opportunity to physically release it. I remember waking up from the surgery feeling so much lighter emotionally and free.
After the surgery I had the opportunity to go to st george for 2 weeks and heal. It was great to be with my family and have my Mother and Ali taking really good care of me, and my brother Michael was an angel and gave me his bed for the 2 weeks. During that time I got word that my landlord wanted to sell the place and wanted everyone out of it by feb 1st. Which meant I had to figure out what I was going to do with all my stuff.
My parents flew to slc and we boxed and moved everything to a storage unit. And I had a decision to make. Find an apt within 24 hours or ask my aunt and uncle if I could stay with them till I found a place. I opted for the 2nd choice.
A week later I got a call from the hospital in Cedar City saying they wanted an interview so I drove down. It went good, but I am still waiting on there reply.
All in all it has been a very hectic and life learing last few months, and really testing my faith, trust and ability to stay focus and positive on what I deserve to have and create for me and my life.
Last night I was driving from Salt Lake to Centerville(temp home) and there was a lot of fog in the air. It was so bad I could barely make out the vehicle in front of me or 50 feet in front. I noticed that when other cars came near or there lights that it made it harder and harder to see where I was going, or the road. As I got about a block from home it cleared up and I could see just fine. I realized that the fog and the experience I had driving home that night was exactly what my life has been over the last few months. I literally feel like I have been living in fog and it has been so unclear. So unclear to the point that I had to trust by putting one foot in front of the other, not clear on where I was stepping and if it was the right path. And as others would tell me where to go or what they thought was best for me it would get harder and harder to see and I would get so lost. But what I realized was that when I choose to listen to my spirit and trust in God and stay positive and not listen to others that the path is there and is clear and gets more clear with every step I take. I know now that I get to be true to me and what I deserve to have in life and trust that I will be directed.